Hot Sticky Mess

It's fair to describe Kolkata as a hot, sticky mess. During the monsoon, it will be a flooded mess, after that, a steaming hot mess. In any case, you get the picture, the city is a mess. It's a place of over 15 million with the infrastructure totally insufficient for a city a quarter of the size. There are people living in dilapidated apartment blocks, decrepit slums and at various places on the street. By one estimate there are more than 50,000 street dwellers. I should say that I was horrified by what I saw, but I was prepared for much worse. The child beggars were more cute than pathetic, and the mutilated cripples had no affect. I guess the compassion has faded over the months, maybe it just wasn't really there to begin with. For however troubling the poverty is in the city, at least the people have made it there, conditions and services are improving.

There's a structure and order to the poverty. It's tied up in the political system that is so corrupt it is the real horror of the city. Places in apartments blocks and slums are partially dependent on votes. Even sidewalk space is political. Apparently living on the street isn't completely free after all. If this was an ordering, progressive system, the party politics would be tolerable (Chicago, I'm looking at you) as it stands right now, it's just sad.

For many years Kolkata was the capital of Raj India. the British left many impressive buildings behind and some nice boulevards. Unfortunately both are often in disrepair. The interesting part of the city are the rows of alleys and non stop bazaar throughout. Once everything gets worked out and cleaned up, I think it will be pretty attractive here. I would give it another 50 years though, 100 at least if the communists stay in power.

Kissing Queen
One of the most attractive monuments in the city is the Victoria Memorial. Built to commemorate the awesome evil empire of the UK. It's strange that the nicest attraction is a monument to a foreign queen. Prior to entering I found a shady spot to cool down ever so slightly. Several minutes past and I was joined by a group of chattering teenage boys. There was the obligatory first round of questions. Excuse what country? What is your good name? etc. I asked why they were skipping school (it was a weekday afternoon), they changed the subject by pointing out the profanity of a nearby couple. Being a private park and in the middle of the day, it was an opportunity for couples to get some intimate moments together. The grounds were filled with couples holding each other, cooing softly but never any kissing (that would be obscene). Funnier than the PG affection was the numerous single men spying on the action. Some staring through bushes, others stalking from afar. All hoping to somehow get a vicarious taste of affection through their voyeuristic means.

The boys were snickering at a couple about 100 feet away for being inappropriate. they may have rolled around once on the ground, again PG stuff, and certainly nothing to get into a tiff about. I decided to explore their conservatism. When I asked who was their favorite actress, they were unanimous in proclaiming Mallika Sherawa. In one movie she was apparently on screen kissing 50 times. Wow wee! With such a choice in thespian talent, I thought there was too much hypocrisy to let them off without some shame. So I asked them if they had ever seen pornography on the internet. If they can look at naked ladies on the net, what's wrong with a little rolling around on the grass? After sheepishly admitting they all had, they suggested we go look at the monument now.

Digestive Waddle
The bellies out here are impressive and totally unexpected. It's even more a contrast coming from SE Asia where the people tend to have slighter builds. Excessive eating is such a part of the culture here that the men (and women) proudly show off their bellies. There's even a Bengali word for the waddle which takes place after meals as an aid for digestion.

Pickin Gals
Through friends of friends, I ended up spending time with several Fulbright scholars here. This isn't the first time I've come across these type of folk on my trip, and I have to admit I always love it The people are always so nice and interesting and the research is typically esoteric, I really enjoy these meetings. It's especially nice to have an intelligent conversation that doesn't begin with, 'So where have you been?' Plus it makes me feel like an academic dork again, albeit for a fleeing instance.

I was invited to join a group of about ten people for drinks on a Friday night. In addition to my new Fulbright friends we were joined by a couple of Indian American girls who were back in Kolkata revisiting their roots. The two of them in particular were looking good that night, think dressing for a night out in NY, and it attracted a bit of attention, mostly in the not so casual glances thrown their way by all the guys in the house. As I went to relieve myself I was approached midstream with the following question, "Excuse me, where did you pick those girls?" I was a bit confused by question, since I didn't recall a lining up earlier in the night. When I explained they were from American and there are many beautiful Indian girls there, he just shook his head and denied the truth. Clearly they were prostitutes and I was holding out where to get them.

Incredible India

I'm in India, had I mentioned that? I've been here for a little more than two weeks now. Being in the far North, it feels more like India Light, I'll get to that a bit later.

When I finally decided to quit and go traveling, the two places that I was most excited to visit were China and India. Both countries are so large, so populated, so geographically diverse, so dynamic, so different, that I knew that whatever time I spent traveling, it would be mere glimpses, the slightest of introductions. China did not disappoint, and I have high hopes for India as well.

When I applied for my India visa last summer, I had the option of a one, two and ten year visa. Ten years didn't make sense (my passport will have long expired by then) and two years just felt too long. I wanted to put a time constraint on myself lest I get seduced into traveling for too long. Every couple of weeks I meet someone on a megatrip; two years out of three, five months while planning for five years, etc. There's something that feels wrong about being 'away' for so long. I love what I've been doing the past year, but it's not a normal life. So last August, I decided that one year was more than enough time, and it would force me to come home at a somewhat certain date. A month ago, I realized in horror that August is not that far off and I need to get my ass to India. I had planned on going back into Cambodia, but India was calling and time's a ticking.

After a night in the KL airport, I arrived in Kolkatta, home to over 15 million people and an airport suitable for a large town. They have two passport gates for all flights, fortunately, we were the only plane otherwise it would have been a quite the wait.

After scrupulously checking my passport and visa for five minutes, I was granted entry by a man with an impressive mustaches. Perhaps he got this all important position because of his manly upper lip. I quickly learned that Bengali men exude masculinity, which is apparent from their hairiness and ample mid-sections. Both features would put the SE Asians that I've been around the past five months to shame. If only they were constantly dancing in the street like in the movies, that would truly be incredible.

Battles in Bureaucracy

I knew that India is home to paper pushing and some serious bureaucracy. It took me about five minutes of being in the country to see this firsthand.

There's a fixed priced taxi from the airport into the City. For some reason this is located just five feet from a security gate and for arrival passengers only. After talking to the cabbies outside, I wanted to go back to the taxi agency and ask a quick question. But getting back into the airport was apparently not allowed. As I atempted to enter, the security guard asked to see my ticket. When I told him that I just arrived in Kolkatta and that I wanted to talk to the taxi stand, he looked very confused. I persisted. Finally he resolved that if he checked my boarding pass, no one could complain that he was delinquint in his search. Once past him I still had to navigate my way through three bored, mustachioed guards carrying flint stock riffles, past a two foot high fence and another five feet to the stand. As I approached the guards stood at attention looking to block my way. I pointed towards the taxi stand, slowed my roll and walked right past them. My time in SE taught me to ignore authority whom are typically incapable based on the twin traits of laziness and ineptitude. No harm on this occasion, as the guards twirled their mustache and watched me closely.

Since I'll be here for a couple of months, I wanted to get a sim card right away. I've done this in most of countries I've visited and usually the process takes a total of five minutes at a cost of a couple dollars. Ah technology. In India it's just not that simple. I had been forewarned and showed up with the required documents; copies of passport and visa, several passport photos, bill verifying current residence, signed recommendation from a respected member of the community indicating I am a good person, first locks of my hair, and my original birth certificate. After two plus hours we were just at the point when I would hand the gentlemen three dollars and I would again be connected to the 21st century. Just as I was to taste this freedom, I was denied. Apparently, my hotel bill was not sufficient and they needed to 'verify' my residence. Verification meant calling the number on the bill and asking if in fact I was sleeping there. After three attempts no one answered the telephone. Without voice verification of the hotel manager how could Vodafone ensure that I was staying there? I explained my situation to the phone store. I'm not really living at the hotel (it's gross, I would never live on Sudder street, yuck!), I'm just a traveler. Today I'm in Kolkatta, tomorrow I'll be in Darjeeling, the week after that Delhi, etc. The point is, I'm clearly not living anywhere, just give me the stupid sim card. This approach did not work. With a saddened expression the clerk explained that he understood my itinerant ways, I was both very lucky (to be traveling) and odd (for wanting to), but still he needed to talk with someone. At this point I sheepishly looked at him and asked, "Can't you just say that someone picked up the phone? What difference does it make?" This was quickly rebuffed with a head wave and the following, "I'm sorry sir, but I am not a liar." Oy.

I ran back to my hotel and tried to figure out why no one was answering the stupid phone. The reason being that it was passed six and the only person there was the porter, who in addition to barely knowing English is likely unable to 'operate' a phone. Exasperated, I asked why he wasn't picking up. He just smiled and gave me the Indian Head Nod- think shrugging to one side while smiling and looking vapid. Apparently the Manager would be in the following morning at 11, but maybe later. By this time Vodafone had closed and I had to wait a bit longer for my connection.

I spent the next morning waiting in the dingy lobby of my 'guesthouse' (it really wasn't that accommodating). At eleven one of the staff walked in. When I explained my mobile phone situation he gave me the nod and explained that the manager would be around in an hour, or so. Two hours later, the Manager arrived. I quickly explained the situation that Vodafone needed to verify my address, and that I needed someone to pick up the phone when they called. No problem he said, we're here all day. Great!

I ran back to the store and looked to conclude the transaction. This store is pretty modern and it's located in the nice walking street area of the city. It's also big, with maybe twenty employees working there at a time. They have a nice little queuing arrangement so everything is conducted in a non-Indian, orderly fashion. As I walked in, I noticed two people working and eighteen people loitering. Naturally one of the two was the guy I was working with the evening previous, and I was unable to finish up with another staff member. After waiting for a long, long time, he finally apologized and approached me. "I have the number, let's call this place right now. I WANT MY SIM CARD," I said. No problem he said and dialed the hotel, on the second attempt someone picked up. When asked if I was staying at the hotel, the Manager correctly answered that I had checked out this morning, which was true since I had a night train scheduled. With a pained expression, the staff member looked at me and said he would be unable to complete my request. NO!!!!! I would just have to get my sim card in the next city that I visit. I begged and pleaded but to no avail. After seeing me close to tears, he resolved to ask the store manager what to do. She was engrossed in a telephone conversation that was certainly unrelated to my issue and likely all other business and was deaf to the staff member's queries. After twenty minutes of waiting she finally pointed to some other form, clicked some buttons on the computer, and I was back on track. An hour later, I had a number. Such an ordeal. All in all I think I spent about six hours dealing with this phone nonsense and all for the minor expense of less than five dollars. Apparently, time is not at a premium in this country.

Hacking At Mountains

Hacking At Mountains
One of the pleasures of traveling in Northern Laos is appreciating the rows and rows of lush hills. Unfortunately, the greenery is interspersed with desolate mountains whose slopes have been ravaged by cross cutting lumber practices. the blame is shared between the government and the minority hill tribes people.The government is chopping and selling their forests to neighboring China, always hungry for natural resources. The hill tribes are just continuing their age-old farming practices. Preventing the decimation of the forest is probably harder than it seems. Traditionally, hill tribe farming involves a long cycle; slash and burn mountainsides, grow rice, wait 12-15 years for the soil and vegetation to recover and repeat. As the population in Laos has doubled over the past two generations the hill people have less and less available land. Plus the wood is used for many different functions; house building, cooking, farming (clearing the land), purifying water, heat, light and also as a source of income. Much will have to change to slow the destruction, electricity and clean water must be available, likely not possible without the villagers moving out of the hills and into towns, plus farming practices must be modernized. Changes like this will not come easily. As 'progress' comes in small steps it will make prospects worse in the short term. New roads will encourage more trade, meaning more opportunity for earning money. This is great, but combined with new tools such as chainsaws replacing axes, hacking down the forest will be easier and more profitable than before. All in all not a great picture.

Idiot Traveler
Being on the road for so long, I have the opportunity to meet all types of travelers. Some of them more equipped for a journey than others. A couple weeks ago, I met a lady who was making some of the stupidest decisions I've seen. She finished her trek the day after I did, but was panicking due to lack of local funds. Someone told her change all her money to US dollars since they are the most widely acceded currency. In fact, Lao Kip is the most useful- who would have guessed?! Finding herself with less than a dollar of Kip she freaked out. I can imagine this was an uncomfortable situation, but she had two very reasonable options. Go to the tour agency, where she just spent $100 to change some money or catch a ride to the nearest town with an ATM, only 90 minutes away. Instead she hitch-hiked a ride back to the border town where she entered some six hours away, all the time in the bed of a Chinese pick-up truck filled with loose metal. Idiot!

Two weeks alter on the other side of the country, I saw her again. This time in a travel agency trying to buy a ticket to Hanoi. She was having difficulty because she didn't have a Vietnamese visa. The agency was explaining this to her, but she just didn't get it. Again there were two options; back to the capital and apply for a visa in person or have the travel agency take care of it for a small fee. Convinced there was a third option, she tromped off determined to find a ticket to Vietnam. I can only imagine her getting turned back at the border. Idiot!

Sam the Bookseller
Vientiane doesn't have too much to offer in terms of sites, but on my second visit there I stumbled across a very entertaining bookseller. The following day, I was scheduled to fly to India and I planned to spend my last day in Laos running some errands. My hope was to swap my growing supply of books (current count being four) for a single, fat, India guidebook. Anton had found a shop that was willing to trade books and had a copy of the India one. Perfect!

Not only did I accomplish my goal, but I was thoroughly entertained in the process. After quickly conducting our business, we began discussing our time traveling in Laos. We related our experience of being offered Laos girls and Sam the bookseller was very interested. "Oh, you want a Laos girl? I can get you one no problem. In fact we can go together." Not this again, we chuckled, and this time coming from a man who had just finished proudly describing his family- he has something like ten kids. After we declined, Sam began to tell us about how he was trained by the CIA in the seventies. This intrigued us and we were eager to hear about his experiences.

Sam chose to focus on the lighter side and told us about a wonderful trip he took to Hong Kong. While there, he was wined and dined along with his colleagues and eventually found himself in one of the many redlight areas of the city. Incidentally, this is easier to do than it sounds. As the night proceeded Sam got the courage to ask one of the ladies to sample her expertise. In Sam's words, "WOW! WOW!!!" followed by hysterical laughter on both sides. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to learn exactly what was so incredible about this night, only that it was nothing that he had ever experienced before. He was so enthused that he went back the following night. Naturally we assumed he would go back to the same girl, seeing how he had such an amazing time. But Sam is a true adventurer and was interested in trying out another girl and "WOW!!!! I mean Wow!" again followed by hysterical laughter on both sides.

As if this wasn't enough to prove the sexual proclivities of this man, he then motioned for us to come over and look at some pictures on his phone. Picture 1: Smiling Laos girl, Pictures 2-5 same Laos girl is very states of undress with certain body parts being the particular focus of the frame. Once again this was followed by boyish laughter and exclamations of delight on his side, we merely smirked.

At this point, we were ready to leave. I got my book, shared some laughs, saw a naked girl.... all in all, a positive bookshop experience. But Sam wasn't having it. Before we left we HAD to see a special magazine that he had stashed somewhere in his shop. Like a teenage boy foraging for his naughty delights Sam was giggling in anticipation of finding this special publication. He hid it so well that he was convinced that one of his boys had taken it from him. Just moments before we were set to leave, Sam arose, victoriously holding a Thai porn magazine from some past decade. I'm not familiar enough with this literature to assess which decade, but suffice it to say it was pre-mellenial. As we were politely flipping the pages (I mean who in there right mind would take pleasure looking at a Thai pornography magazine?), two local (older German) customers entered. Sam motioned us to hide the magazine (apparently he didn't feel these old timers were worthy of such fruits) as he exchanged pleasantries with his guests. We took this opportunity to duck out of the shop. For sure the next time I'm in Vientiane, I'm going straight back to this shop.

Laosing Around

Disappointment At First

After a nice couple of weeks in Thailand, I was ready to finally make it into Laos. I say finally because when I left home, I was fairly sure I would travel overland from China and this was likely to happen sometime at the end of last year. Plans change, oh well

I've heard so much about Laos from those that have been here, and I have to admit it was hard not to enter here without some high expectations, which unfortunately were not quite met. The people more than anything are supposed to stand out, but in my first week here I didn't feel that at all. In addition, this supposedly remote country was filled with tourists. A number of whom seemed to be either on their first trip away from home on a break from uni (think annoying British kids) or sunbleached, tank-top wearing travelers straight from Thailand. I found nothing interesting in Vientiane, the baguettes and pastries were meh.

Floating on the River

One of the suppose highlights of Laos is Vang Vien, which is famous for its scenery and partying ways. I was excited to sample both and especially curious about tubing, which is supposedly a SE Asian backpackers right of passage. It involves floating down the river in a large inter tube periodically taking breaks to buy alcohol (or 'happy drinks') jump off rope swings, and maybe look at the impressive mountains, assuming you can pull your eyes off the girls in bikinis. It's a real mystery how this tradition started. I've got nothing against booze, ropes, or mountains, but the whole experience has an unfitting home in the traditionally conservative Laos.

I thought it was ok; maybe worth a look, but definitely not spending weeks in the area. I spent the day with a pair of cheery, Aussie guys, who had their eyes on a couple dainty English gals. While they were hard at work, I was left floating next to a strange young American lady. At the age of twenty she was affianced, traveling the world on her own and planning on conquering the world...that is just after she gets here Ba in a couple of years. It's hard to say exactly what was weird about her. It could be that she would never make eye contact and her lazy eye didn't help.

Highlights of the day included volleyball in a giant mudpit, which was more like playing try not to fall while getting the ball, and sliding down a giant water slide that wouldn't pass safety standards anywhere. I survived both, but not without some bruises.

The whole tubing event was just an excuse to drink profusely. I would have been disappointed if I hadn't met up with a German couple I traveled with in Burma. The town is filled with half naked travelers looking a bit like zombies, needing a fresh dose of a pancake and an episode of Friends or Family Guy before downing another beer. We tried to avoid the kids and spent the day kidding around, climbing in caves, swimming in lagoons, eating good food, enjoying both the company and the surrounding mountains (which look very similar to the mountains of Yangshuo I saw six months ago). With the tubing off the list, I was set to do some trekking, that is after a short stop in Luang Prabang. Luang Prabang, didn't strike me as anything magical. I had seen monks and temples before, some even next to rivers, so no biggy for me. Plus traveling was both easier and more expensive than I expected.

Chinese Invasion

I planned on visiting the NW of Laos and spent the day bussing to Luang Nam Tha located an hour or two from the Chinese border. I was immediately struck by the overwhelming Chinese influence there. Nestled in a high valley, this little town (city by Laos standards) is currently in the process of being developed by the Chinese, meaning there were plenty of Chinese there including the guys who owned the hotel I stayed in. Since I arrived with a Chinese gal (along with two Western dudes) we got some great treatment from owners, who promptly served a banquet in our honor (not really). But we did have mounds of food and like most Chinese men, these guys were doing their best trying to get us drunk. A couple gan beis later, my Chinese was flowing (as best it can flow) and merriment was spread all around.

Many in Northern Laos are unhappy with the Chinese workers and businesses coming south. A typical complaint being that the Chinese are taking Laotian job, but I bet the Chinese are creating more than taking. Laos is extremely laid back, probably to a fault. I've never been to restaurants that constantly warm you to be patient about service. I've been told that 'Hammock ' is an official field of study. Spend any time walking here and you'll see passed out people all around town, tuk-tuks, shops, offices...this nation loves to sleep.

Do you Like Laos Girls?

On my friends suggestion, we (I say we because I have been traveling with an American named Anton for the past two weeks) arranged our trekking from the quaint town (more like village) of Vien Phouka. We had an afternoon to kill before starting the next day, and decided to walk to a nearby village. We didn't' make it, because just outside town we were summoned over to join a small celebration. It turned out to the be the local high school teaching staff having a couple (lots) of drinks. I don't blame them, as their school has about ten teachers for over 700 students, that must be hard.

We proceeded to join them from some beer and struggled to communicate, the English teachers could speak a little, but everyone was really drunk. On a number of occasions, we were asked, "Do you like Laos girls?" to which we replied, "Laos girls are great, we love Laos people!" which was then followed by the "Do you want one?" We just laughed and shrugged. Around this time girls started popping out of nowhere and the proprietor came to introduce himself to us. He was a guide with the local tourist ministry, and opened this restaurants just four months ago. By the time he asked us if we like Laos girls, we had figured out why the 'restaurant' was located outside of town. He was disappointed to learn that we had a guide for a trek, weren't hungry and not interested in sampling the local flavor. shortly thereafter, the mayor came, complete with a little entourage. He shook hands with everyone, including us and then went to examine the evenings special dishes. Clearly, he likes Laos girls.

Careful of the Lychees

The next day we set out on our three day two night trek. it's the end of the dry season so conditions were hot and humid during the day with a relief coming every night in the form of towering thunderstorms. Fortunately, the rain came only at night, but it did make conditions muddy and slippery during the walk. This added a bit more challenge to a trail that had it's shares of ups and downs but wasn't too long. The negative is that the moisture brought out the leaches, who wanted to suck our blood. I didn't get bit too bad, but I found a couple under my socks but luckily before they could do much damage. Anton was not so lucky, a leach attached to his foot causing him to bleed through his sock and a ravenous one some how made it's way to his hip, feasting past the point of exhaustion leaving him with a huge bruise. It was a bit annoying to be on leach patrol constantly taking off our socks and heeding our guides suggestion of checking for lychees (apparently the plural of leach).

I've finished a couple treks so far and this was was my favorite, mainly because we were so isolated. Aside from a couple villagers tending their cows, we were the only ones walking and the 'villages' we visited were indifferent and unimpressed by our presence- as they should be. The first night we stayed in a mixed Muzar, Hmong, and Lahu village with probably about fifty homes and 200 people each. We had the pleasure to stay with the chief, and had a lovely plywood mattress. The elder of his two daughters, who was probably 16, gave the impression of wanting us to leave right away. I think this had less to do with us and more to do with the fact that she probably just wanted some privacy for the first time in her life and we weren't helping.

After a small meal, we wandered the village, and discovered a shaman conducting a ritual. Apparently a woman in the village had miscarried three consecutive times and the shaman was attempting a cure. We learned the miscarriages were the work of spirits who were apparently hungry and eating the babies. So the shaman had to appease the spirits. This was done by offering the spirits three tasty treats, a goat, dog and chicken. These were first passed over the head of the woman thus transferring her essence to the animals and then sacrificed. Finally small bamboo mats were sprinkled with the blood and placed around her house. Hopefully it worked, if she's still not successful in caring a baby to term, maybe she's the next to be sacrificed.

The next day we walked to a small village (maybe twenty houses) where all the babies started screaming when they saw us. I especially like this feeling of being a monster, it's always flattering to know that I'm so scary. The older children and villages just stared at us with mouths gaping open. After a couple of false starts I got them to teach me to count to ten, which is the same for both the Muzar and Lahu language.

dey ma
nee ma
seh lah
la leh
nga mah
koh mah
su mah
ei mah
go mah
de chi

I reciprocated the knowledge exchange by sharing 1-10 with them, then I sparked a fire, recited Hamlet's famous speech and gave a short lecture on modern macroeconomic theory. I expect a new Atlantis will blossom there shortly.

That night we stayed in a really small 'village' of three house and ten people. I've never been to a place so remote, which was interesting to see up close. They are subsidence slash/burn farmers who also keep some livestock. Meaning when they're not cutting down the beautiful forest, they are living amongst shit, lots and lots of cow, pig, goat and chicken poop. Not very sanitary. It started poring just after we were done hiking for the day. Two ladies were not so lucky as they were caught gathering wood in the storm. The older grandmother was already half undressed by the time she made it back into her house. I'm likely to be fantasizing about her for years to come.

After a couple of days in the great outdoors it was nice to return to an actual village. Unfortunately the village had neither electricity nor hot water, in fact my room didn't have water at all, which meant I got to bathe in the river. I didn't have soap so i rinsed myself downstream of where others were showering, that way I could utilize their suds. Just kidding, well sort of since I was definitely downstream of others showering. It was really refreshing dipping into the river in just my skivvies, something I've now had the opportunity to do a couple times. Didn't Jacob meet his wife while bathing in the river? I could totally see happening. I would think the town bath is a total pick up joint.

Anyways, it was a couple days of firsts, I saw a live shaman show, ate dog, was offered opium, saw a baby making a fire, foraged for bamboo, learned to speak Muzar, all around a good trip.

Bus Will be Here by 12

I heard a lot of stories about the terrible Laos buses, but never really experienced problems myself. The worst that happened was when i was trying to get from Vien Phouka to Nong Khiaw. By car, it should probably take five or six, but I anticipated a full day at least. I expected the bus to come at 12 since that's what i was told and arrive some time in the late evening. In fact the bus didn't come until 8 and i got dropped off at 4 in the morning. This after being charged three times the local price- there's a two tiered pricing system in Laos that's not fair. It wasn't that bad because we spent the afternoon drinking Lao whiskey (add some honey to kill the heat) with our guides, eating fried bananas and laughing as they accused each other of visiting the Laos Girl Restaurants often. It all added to my theory of SE Asian men, which is this: they like to get drunk and go to prostitutes. I found this true in Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, Laos and Burma. It's a bit icky, but whiskey is really cheap and the girls are pretty so it's easy to see how it happens.

Watch the Flow

The next stop was Nong Khiaw, which was like Vang Vein, but prettier, and without all the kids. The main activity here was just watching the river float by. I found it very meditative and I'm sure it would have somehow been meaningful had a tried one of the many drugs offered to me. I wasn't interested, but after a couple days of reading and relaxing it was time to be active again. We opted to take a canoe out on the river and paddle around a bit. The villagers seemed to think that the river was moving pretty fast and that we needed to rent a guide along to be able to actually go anywhere. But that would have cost $25 each, which is just a crazy number for Laos so we refused and challenged the river ourselves. After five minutes of struggling to go up stream, but floating downstream, we began thinking that maybe the river is going really fast. We resolved to float a bit more and then just beach and hang out. At the same time we saw two ladies making their way up river. This was perplexing, they were eighty pounds and weak and we were beefy Americans. After studying their technique we finally figured out how, use the motor! That would have been good but we didn't have one, so instead we just hugged the shore and slowly made our way back. That was enough exertion for us and we spent the rest of the afternoon drinking Lao Lao and admiring our muscles.

Back Door to Jars

My last stop in Laos was Phonsovan and the Plain of Jars. I was excited to go here since it's one of the few older historical places in the country and will shortly be on the list of World Heritage Sites, that is once they clear all the mines in the are. The ride there was more interesting than the site itself. This was true for the mammoth travel on the back road, and for the plains themselves. Phonsovan isn't that far from Nong Khiaw but it took a day and a half to get there. At eight one night we got dropped at a junction with two little guesthouses that clearly aren't seeing many tourists. let's put it this way, my Lao pasa (speech) was as good as their English talk, and mine is non-existence. When we asked for food, the mother of the guesthouse pointed to some instant noodles. Thinking there must be some better option we strolled the streets, where we asked a couple different groups of people. When we asked for a place to eat, they all said, 'oh we don't have.' That night we feasted on instant noodles. At this time it was dark. They don't have electricity, so we just went to bed. Honestly, I'm not really a fan of going to bed at seven or eight, it just doesn't work for me.

Finally getting to Phonsovan was nice, since after two weeks we once again had such amenities as running water, electricity and milkshakes. Mmmmm electricity. The jars were exciting as they sound, but the time traveling there was nice since we rented some motorbikes and got around that way. I'm happy to say that I'm finally getting comfortable with the bikes. Maybe I'll get a Harley when I get back, yeah right.

Thai New Years

Let's Get Wet
It's the middle of the hot season here. The oppressing heat and humidity generally sucks the will out of you. A reprieve is found in the Thai New Year, called Songkran, which is also known as the Water Splashing Festival. After asking around a bit, I decided to head to the central Isan city of Khon Kaen. Isan is not so busy with tourists and as a poorer more rural province, I figured if I wanted to party Thai style, this would be a good place to do so. How right I was, it's got to be one of the best parties in the country.

The official festivities lasted three days, but the water throwing (or playing as they say here) went on for about five. I spent the holiday wandering the streets making friends with Thai and expats alike. There were three main activities to partake in, and I certainly experienced them all.

The craziest by far involves circling the city in the back of a pick up truck. The beds of the truck are filled to the brim with both people and giant buckets of water. The goal is to get as many people wet without severely injuring yourself by doing something silly like falling out. It sounds easy enough, but I counted at least three time when i almost fell out, and all before i had one beer. While I managed to stay in the truck, I did not leave unscathed. By the end of the festival, all my fingers were nicked up, not too much damage. The water throwing was great, and since I was in a truck full of Americans we got lots of attention, especially when we were crawling through traffic, which was always.

Since it's so hot outside it generally feels pretty good being wet the whole time. But some malicious folk (in this case the truck of Americans) go to the ice factory to ensure their water is frigid. All in the hope of getting the maximum reaction possible. The result is always funny, as people scream and yelp once soaked with this water. It was much less funny when it happened to me, and once the sun was down, it was just mean.

Khon Kaen closed off a several block stretch of their main road, which was filled with stages for live, yet mediocre music, in addition to numerous street vendors. Strolling up and down the street was always a good time. When I was tired of walking, i would sit and watch the crappy bands, and the associated bouncing teenagers, or go to a large barrel of water located at the side of the street and get passersby wet. The highpoint of the walking street was the celebration at dusk. Everyday for a couple of minutes, the whole street, probably somewhere in the vicinity of ten to twenty thousand people did the wave. And then fireworks were launched.

Basically, it was a giant street party where everyone participates. As the trucks cost down the street they would be attacked and attacking those on the street, where hoards of people set up little party stations with food, music and barrels of water. It was all great, but I especially loved dropping in and playing with the various groups on the streets. It was great eating BBQ chicken and drinking whisky with some older redshirt supporter, and i also loved dancing on the street to a combination of traditional Isan music (think very bouncy) and American hip hop with some teenage kids, or just having water fights with little kids (I usually let them win).

What made this holiday so great was the festive spirit showed by all. I was approached to eat, drink and play by all walks of life; older protesters, middle-aged women with children, ladyboys, high school kids. The later in particular were in full force, it seems the total population of 10-20 year olds were on the street dancing and drinking. For a reason that I'm not quite sure, another tradition of the holiday is to put baby powder on your hands to pad other's cheeks with. It is an honor to have the powder applied to you in this manner and many were quite pleased to convey this honor to a bearded white person. Surely many of whom had previously touched neither. The biggest powder purveyors were once again the teenage boys who were clearly using it as an excuse to touch pretty girls. On more than one occasion, I saw a lovely young women descended upon by a group of giggling guys. All she could do in her defense was smile and thank them for the honor.

I'm really glad that i chose to stick around for Songkran. It was awesome to be part of such a festive celebration and definitely a highlight of my time in Thailand.

Attacked by Boars, Chased by Elephants
With Songkran over, I planned on heading over to Laos (I'm currently writing in Vang Vien), but since time is not at a premium, I figured I would head to one more national park before making my move. Phu Krudeung, is only three hours away and sort of on the way north, so it wasn't so much of a detour, plus after several days jumping up and down in the street, I needed some spiritual cleansing.

It sounded like a good plan, but I found myself questioning the decision during the first hour of my five hour ascent to the plateau. It's probably because I was a bit hungover, hadn't eaten for the day, started my hike at 2 and was walking in some major hot, humid stickiness. Let's just say the first hour was really tough. In no time I sweated out the toxins (my shirt was completely drenched) and once I got some food in me, I trudged up the mountain in reasonable time, actually feeling pretty good. Apparently, hiking in heat is a good cure for a hangover.

The camping site is huge, with tents and cabins setup, easily able to hold a thousand people. Once I settled down, I was greeted by a thunderstorm. I scampered off to eat and was finally ready for bed. Just as I was turning off my flashlight, i noticed a large shadow creeping around my tent. Two seconds later, that shadow, a several hundred pound boar was running into my tent trying to get in. I'm not sure what he wanted, I didn't have any food with me, but I was glad when he stalked away after his failed entry.

The next day I decided to head out towards one of the many waterfalls on the plateau, but I was blocked at the entrance of the trail by a sign which read, danger wild elephants. I was skeptical of claim and proceeded to make my way down the trail. About fifteen minutes later, I heard some major rustling in the trees nearby, then I heard some angry (i think it was angry) pacing. At this point, I turned tail and headed straight back for the trail head. There were wild elephants, and I didn't want to see them. By this time the thunderstorm returned just in time to completely drench me. Fortunately the heat had me dried off in no time.

Even though I struggled on the hike, was attacked by a boar, almost annihilated by an elephant, I'm very glad I went to the park, it was nice.

More Protests

I continue my slow ascent into Isan awaiting Songkran. This afternoon I spent two hours going north to Khon Khen while traveling in a completely full bus. It was so full that they threw me and my closest nine friends in the baggage compartment. Half the guys passed out along the bags, three more held the door slightly open so we wouldn't suffocate. The ninth guy (a full sized man) sat on my lap for over an hour. It was not comfortable.

The Water Festival doesn't officially start until Tuesday so in the meantime I thought I would amuse myself with the other festivities currently taking place, the protests. I expected to completely miss them as initially it seemed they would be localized to Bangkok, but they appear to be spreading, or at least preparing to spread. As I'm in the capital of the province it only makes sense that this is where mobilization is taking place.

An estimated 25,000 registered with the local redshirts in the central park today. There's currently a long line of people turning in simple information sheets with their mobile numbers and email addresses in preparation for a call for demonstration. They're also getting their picture taken, not exactly sure why. I spent the evening mulling around and trying to get some local commentary on what's going on. While there's a peaceful demonstration in the park. A stage has been setup for local leaders to talk (unfortunately, I have no idea what they're saying), and maybe a thousand people are around listening to the speeches and just hanging out. Honestly it has a bit of a carnival atmosphere as there are lots of food booths and the kids are playing on the exercise equipment. There was an odd age distribution in the park. I would say 95% were over 45 with the remainder being unaccompanied kids. Who knew it was the middle-aged and elderly that would be the source of dissension.

I quickly exceeded my knowledge of Thai (first I asked where the bus station was, and then I asked how much x cost) and found a couple separate people to chat with regarding the demonstrations and their opinion of what's going on. Here's a quick summary of what I heard tonight.

The coup four years ago was illegal and unnecessary, it was a power grab by the Democratic Party who don't like Thaksin. The following election was falsified. With the People's Party disbanded twice and eventually winning the majority and yet not being able to form the government. Half of the People's party tricked the voting populace and left to join a coalition led by the current Prime Minister Abhisit. The recent court case and corruption charges against Thaksin are totally ridiculous. He was grossly wealthy before he was the PM, and didn't use his office to further his wealth. That's just silly, why would he do such a thing? The charges were trumped up to kick him out of government and keep the people down. Finally the people have had enough and want their true democratically elected leader back. The Democratic Party knows that previous elections were valid and if they ordered elections today, they know they would lose. So, the Democratic Party will do everything to prevent the coalition from falling apart and ordering new elections. Including purposely shooting at and killing unarmed civilians. The protests have been completely nonviolent, the military is trying to intimidate the people and will go to all causes to keep them down. Protests will escalate, and we expect a change.

With a number of people already dead, I don't think this is going the right direction. While the holiday is set to begin, I think that's not going to stop the demonstrations, if anything I expect an increase in fury as holiday= free time+ alcohol. Not exactly the recipe for quelling dissension. We'll see. I'll try to post some photos soon.

Thai Demonstrations

Isn't it ironic that I leave a country like Burma and come back to this political mess in Thailand? Part of me wanted to stay in Bangkok and try to see the protests firsthand. But Bangkok is very hot, and I didn't feel like getting stuck in that city any longer. Plus, I'm not exactly impressed with the redshirt cause. The demonstrations seem to be a show of power and unrelated to their stated concern, an election two years ago. They're trying to bring back a political leader who defrauded the people of several billions of dollars, not exactly a good guy. About six weeks ago he was convicted by the highest court, and belongs in jail. But what do I know? Power to the people, right?

I did have a discussion with a redshirt taxi driver on my way out of Bangkok. He was much more interested in talking about women and trying to convince me to go to a strip club (it was 9 in the morning) than about politics. After a long debate we resolved that Thai women are often beautiful but I will not be going to a prostitute, and he should drive me to the bus station.

Out here in Isan, it's life as usual. Last night there was a ladyboy pageant in the public square. Like the protests, I did not participate.

Back From Burma

Dear Friends,
The last several months in SE Asia have seen my acquire new skills; learning to scuba diving on a Thai island filled with half naked Swedes, motor biking on dirt roads in the dirty Delta of Vietnam and massaging (professionally trained at Wat Po) in the stickiness that is Bangkok. When I had enough of such activities, I decided to go to Burma; not for some idealistic reason of uncovering some great evil, or the fantasy of communing with a more simplistic life, just because I heard it was a fun place to visit where the people are very nice.

My plans were met with an equal amount of intrigue and horror. Intrigue from those interested in hearing first hand what life was like in this secretive country, horror from those who saw Rambo 4 (the bad guys in the movie are Burmese, and they're really really bad).

There were many arguments not to go, issues of safety, the fact that some of my funds would go towards supporting the regime, the boycott pronounced by Aung San Suu Kyi. But none of these reasons troubled me. I figured I wouldn't be allowed to travel any place unsafe. The leader appears to have renounced the boycott, and I calculated that the regime got no more than a couple hundred bucks from my trip. A tiny amount in comparison to the trade with China and India. The real dollars supporting the government come from natural resources like gems, gas or timber If you ever bought a ruby or something made of teak, the likely source was Burma. In any case, I came little scared and left well rewarded.

Facts of Life
Before I get to what I liked about Burma, a couple facts of local life. The poverty of the country (per capita GDP is less than $1,200) combined with a ruling junta, who attempt to rule in iconic junta fashion (corruption, oppression, and idiocy) make day to day life here a bit different. Not shockingly so, but enough to notice. What do I mean? In every town I visited, electricity is spotty. Blackouts are such a normal occurrence, I saw more generators than refrigerators. Mobile phones are rare and very expensive, with a number costing somewhere between $1,000 -$2,000. Home phones are also rare outside of main cities and telephone booths (girls on the street with a couple phones and convoluted wire connections) are the primary, although expensive form of communications. Internet connectivity, while more present then I expected, is very slow. This is due in part to the government taking screen shots every five minutes. Cars are old and uncommon, gas is expensive and transportation costs are higher than reasonable. To have a car here is a real luxury and the prices are ridiculous. A twenty year old corolla is priced somewhere between $20,000 and $30,000. New cars, meaning anything manufactured in the past twenty years are nonexistent. Several years ago gas prices quadrupled, which in part led to riots.

The real kicker for me s the banking system, maybe this is because of my dorky economics background and avaricious, capitalistic nature. In fact there are two separate sectors here. The local Burmese banks, which offer such revolutionary services as atms and backed deposits (although the depositor's interest rate is negative- you have to pay the bank to take your money) and the international banking system, which doesn't exist.Transactions between the two systems are costly. This forces any medium or large scale operation or middle income family to have banking accounts outside of Burma. I guess one advantage of a nascent banking sector means no financial crises; you can't have financial crisis without a financial system (actually that's probably not completely true). All of this culminates in a cash based society. One where the official and unofficial exchange rate aren't so close. Officially it's $1 to 6 kyat, unofficially it's about $1 to 1,000 kyat. I can proudly say that I have illegally changed money on the black market with the assistance of of sketchy, Indian man with red teeth, wearing a dress (more about that momentarily). I was happy to check that one off the list.

The Face of Oppression
I laughed at Rambo, but I was still hesitant regarding the government. Aside from one night in Rangoon, when we encountered checkpoints every couple of blocks, the presence of soldiers was much less than expected. For the most part they were completely unintimidating. Mostly older men, in uniform, flip flops, and more likely to be drinking whiskey (which is cheaper than beer) than carrying a weapon. The other defining feature was their lack of smile. in a country filled with people grinning ear to ear, a smile from a solder was not a common sight. It seemed the biggest component of the people's dislike for their government was the total and complete corruption of all it's members. Police checkpoints are setup to extract bribes. Businesses cannot operate without paying local tips. Government lifestyle is clearly a step above because of this taxation. The capital was recently moved to a newly constructed city, complete with a replica of the country's most famous pagoda. At some point on this trip, I was likely followed, but I didnt' sense it. Many locals reflected a similar mantra, 'Burmese people good, Burmese government very bad,' the second half always in a whisper. On several occasions when I disclosed my nationality I was asked the prospects of an American invasion. None I said. If we were in the business of toppling corrupt governments there would be no end to our work, and would have to turn our eyes on some of our own. Incidentally, am I glad I missed the whole health care debate!

As I traveled around the country, and saw the local economic conditions, it's hard not to make comparisons. Is the poverty here worse than it's neighbors? Are Burmese worse off than those in rural China, the Delta region of Vietnam or the NE Thai region of Isan from where I'm currently writing? I doubt it, if so, then not by much. Burma like the rest of the region has a serious urban/rural divide. Is their government worse than it's neighbors? For sure, but it's not like the region is bustling with success stories. Just look at the most 'stable' country in SE Asian, Thailand, which is in the midst of some major demonstrations to bring back the former PM who happened to be deposed several years ago in a coup and was recently convicted of defrauding and embezzling several billion dollars from his country.

It's hard not to feel sorry for the people here, maybe a tad more than elsewhere I've been. The main way to improve your stock here is to sell out your people and work for the government. At least in other countries there's some hope of pulling yourself out of poverty. If that doesn't work, you can go with the every popular failsafe of marrying a white guy.

It's the People
I thought there were only several sites here of much interest. The Schwedegon Pagoda in Rangoon is spectacular and the ancient temples of Bagan are interesting, although nothing compared to the magnificence of the Angkor ones, but the real fun comes from the kind and inviting nature of the Burmese. For a people that have so little, they are extremely generous. Everywhere I went I was met with big smiles, shouts of hello and hospitable invitations.

The food and the people felt like a combination between India and China. I alternated between Indian curries and Chinese dishes, both of which were yummy. The people had a very unique, traditional style. Both men and women wore traditional sarongs called longyi. Women and children would also wear a face cream called thanaka made from the bark of local trees. This cream is a natural sun block, thought to be a skin moisturizer and is also applied in attractive designs (see my pictures for examples). The men, while wearing the longyi(think dress), would constantly be chewing betel nut. The result was a red staining of teeth and gums and the everpresense of little pools of red spittle, not so pleasant.

It's hard to exactly translate what was so enjoyable about traveling here. I think I can reduce it to the fact that people were extremely friendly and welcoming, excited to meet and greet foreigners and wanting to share their country and experiences with us. In some cases this was shared with families over food, watching soccer games or WWF wrestling at local tea shops, making faces at children or playing a game of Burmese hacky-sack. Everyone was constantly smiling, and quick to laugh. Who wouldnt' want to go to places where you feel honored and adored? In summary, see Rambo 4, it's laughable and go to Burma, the people will make you laugh, either way it's smiles all around.

I'm trying to continue my positive rural experience here in Thailand. After a couple of days, I've moved quickly to the drier, poorer, more celebratory Isan region. The traditional Songkran Water Festival begins on the thirteenth. Hopefully my training in shaving cream warfare will have properly prepared me for water battle. Over the next couple of days, I'll try to be filling in some stories from the past three months, in between having water fights and flirting with local women. Should the updates not come, I'll leave it up to you to decide which of the two is preventing. I've posted some pictures of my trip to give you a glimpse of my experience http://picasaweb.google.com/avinagel/Burma#

Pictures from Burma

Reports of follow shortly.

http://picasaweb.google.com/avinagel/Burma#

Burma - 3/16/2010 (posted by M)

I've arrived in Inle Lake after a three day trek. I only had to carry
my small backpack so it was no problem for me. The trip was nice,
mostly because of the company, I traveled with a very nice German
couple and our guide was a really sweet interesting lady. We passed
through little villages, the kids would shout and laugh at us, we took
their pictures. The scenery wasn't extraordinary and unfortunately
visibility is not very good because people are constantly burning
trash. I may do more trekking, I haven't decided yet.

The Inle Lake area is pretty interesting. Its like a big village where
there are plenty of backpackers, but it doesn't affect the area in a
negative way. Yesterday, we had a really nice bike ride through more
villages, plus a boat ride on the lake, it was a really pleasant day.
They're doing everything on the lake. I went to one toilet that was
basically a hole in the floorboard. I looked below and saw the lake
about ten feet below. ha, pretty funny. That night I had fish. I try
not to think of where it's coming from.

The comfort is much less here. Electricity is spotty, and most places
have generators but are reluctant to use them. The people here are
very nice, always smiling, happy to greet you, excited about
traveling. The backpackers I'm meeting are also a nice breed. All in
all, the first week here has been really great, and fairly
interesting. The food is good as well. Half the time I'm eating
curries the other half it's more Asian style. Truly it's the nexus of
china and India.

The plan is to leave for Mandalay in a day or two, spend some time up
there, maybe head a bit north of there before swinging back to Bagan
and back to Rangoon for Pesach. I met with the head of the synagogue
association and it sounds like I'll be having the seder with the
Israeli ambassador and probably a group of twenty or thirty people,
should be nice.

Today I went to a big local market, it's coming here every five days.
It was great because it's a true local market and it was really
crowded. I'm sitting here with some bananas, peanut brittle and some
cute shoulder bags, a fairly good haul. I may just spent the rest of
the day hanging around and reading my kindle. I haven't tried to
upload books here, but that's no problem since I have about twenty
loaded already.

Vietnam Wrapup

Wow, it's been over a month. Clearly I've been negligent. Why the sparse posting? There probably a couple reasons, but the biggest is my parents visit. When I travel with people, there's less down time which means there's less time to ruminate, less time to write and little interest in actually blogging. I have some fun stories from their visit (which ended about five days ago) and I'll try to come up with something in the next couple of days.

I'm currently in Bangkok, where I've been for the past couple of days waiting to get a visa from Burma- success! I thought I would make this time productive so I took a traditional Thai Massage course at Wat Pho. Five days and many many massages later, I now have a certificate claiming that I have some knowledge of Thai Massage. I need to keep practicing so if I'm in the area, I'm more than happy to get in some free practice (it's cool if you want to buy me a drink or something also though).

Vietnam seems like so long ago. I traveled there for about three weeks but I didn't leave with the strongest impression. I had a good time there, but of the five countries that I've visited so far on this trip, I found it the least interesting. I'm not saying that I wouldn't want to go back, but let's just say there are no immediate plans. The following is something that I wrote more than four weeks ago and never got around to inputting on the site. Let's just assume the narrative continues wherever I left off.

Delta, Delta, Delta
My travels got more interesting as I moved south into the Delta. Gone were the persistent tuts and motorcycles ladies constantly offering their services. In exchange, I got a much slower pace of life, endless dirt canals and a doubling of the mosquito population. A good trade off in my book.

For whatever reason, Vietnam never really struck y fancy. There were no incredible sites, compelling geography or terribly exciting adventures in my time there. I had a nice time, but so far it ranks the lowest my visited list. I enjoyed the Delta, the people were certainly friendly down here and I was happiest either on a boat, floating/zooming along canals or on a motorcycle trying my best not to fall off the bumpy dirt roads. It's funny, I spent an equal period of time in Japan and felt that I saw so much and was constantly intrigued by the culture. Nowhere near the same feeling here.

On my bus trip down to Can Tho I met a young English teacher keen on practicing with a native. Seeing how it was her home town, when she offered to walk me to a hotel, I jumped at the chance. The place was good value for the money and located in the center of town, rather than the small tourist district. Once again, I received the stares and status awarded to the awkwardly tall, hairy, traveler like myself.

Life is at a totally different speed in the Delta. While Can Tho is the regional capital, filled with motorbikes and coffee shops there really is not much happening here. Mostly shop owners sleeping in their stores. The attraction are the numerous canals and just sampling a bit of the life here. One of the oddities of an area filled with water are the floating markets, which take place on a daily basis. Farmers come from up and down the river to display their fruits, vegetables and other perishables. Since the waterways are more convenient to travel on than roads (lack of bridges makes this an obvious fact), it's faster to just meet somewhere in the middle of the river. I would find it weird to have your local grower physically bump his boat into yours and the market as a whole is a bit bizarre in general. Then again having melons floated over does sound kind of nice. These people live off the rivers/canals but they pollute them as if there are no consequences.

During the evenings, I was escorted around town by my new English teacher friend and two of her girlfriends. It was nice to get some local perspective and it's fun to hop on motorbikes of strangers and eat some random food. It added to the amusement that the combined weight of these three was likely below 300 pounds. Vietnamese women are quite dainty (apparently some 35% of VC were women) and I felt like quite the giant among these three.

Eat a Tire
The four of us went to eat on several evenings, and I had the fortune of being introduced to some local dishes. Ban Xao (sp?) literally means tire and it's like a do it yourself spring roll. An omelet like dish is prepared with meat, fish, and whatever else. This is to be wrapped between various leafy greens in your hand before dipping the roll into various sauces, fishy, soy, hot, whatever you want. The greens were all new and I wondered if the strong cinnamon flavor wasn't just some vestige of Agent Orange. The next night we had Vietnamese hotpot. Not bad, similar to other hotpots I've sampled in China, but it was great when I saw that to feed all four of us it cost about $4.

The food here has been so-so. Spring rolls and Pho Bo are definitely keepers. The pho is never quite the same in any two places. The broth is typically delicious , but I'm often disappointed with the noodles which seem to be of the store bought variety, and sometimes I don't want soup when it's over 30 c outside. I've come to really enjoy the slightly thicker meatier, Pho Bo Kho. the soups are usually pretty good, but I've had some not so pleasant encounters. Like when I ordered snails at a night market stand. I had three options, they each looked non discript, so I just chose one. It took some time to figure out exactly what it was that was in my soup. The grainy, sandy flavor isn't exactly a familiar one to me. The light bulb went off, when the the soup ladies started laughing hysterically and kept offering me more creepy crawlies. The Vietnamese will eat anything, and I have no doubt y snails were of the finest quality, surely scrapped from the bottom of their many 'clean' canals.

I could only chuckle when several days later I discovered that what I thought I ordered (grilled fish) turned out to be a plate of small unsightly clams. My misfortune turned to delight once I figured out how to eat the little suckers. It involved praying them open in the messiest way possible. Clearly, I'm getting a bit more adventurous, but every couple of days I hit a limit. Yesterday (like four weeks ago) on my snorkeling trip, one of the guides collected and subsequently served sea urchin. This was after they spent ample time, dethorning and scooping out the various muck that was deemed inedible. What was left was a dull, brown, goopy paste that resembled dog diarrhea. I gave it a pass this time, we'll see how I feel on my next encounter.

It's hard to mention Vietnam or any other place here in SE Asia without at least touchy on the women. The sexual relations out here are front in center both because of rampant prostitution and the presence of mixed raced couples. There's lots to say about this issue, I just want to briefly mention one of my experiences.

I spent my last couple days in Vietnam on Phu Quoc, a small island closer to Cambodia than the mainland. It was relaxing. I had a great day learning how to motorcycle on the deserted side of the island, alternating between open stretches of dirt road and mud puddles (too much fun). As I often do, I sought out the staff and tried to befriend them. There was a young woman (18? 19?) who worked at the resort who started acting very funny towards me in my last couple of days there. She would send nonsensical text messages, start blushing when I came around, it was kind of cute. I was happy to share her company for a couple of minutes and try to teach her some English, but in no way was I actually interested in her- she's just a kid, and was careful to set boundaries. She didn't actually know my name, and it was such a struggle to communicate with her in the most superficial way. How could she generate a legitimate interest? On my last day when I was leaving she looked as if she was about to start crying. She wanted to know when I was coming back, that I had an invitation to visit her village on the mainland, etc. It was if a love affair was ending, but the truth is we barely exchanged any words!

I don't mention this because I'm gloating that I won over the heart of some hapless 19 year old (it's not like it was a first), but to illustrate how ridiculous her feelings and expectations were. And that these feelings and expectations are the norm around here. Every time I see an interracial couple here, I can't help but think what they must talk about, and how much they actually know and understand each other.

Hello Vietnam

After spending several months in China getting to know the country, trying to learn the language, it's strange to be back at square one. Like Chinese, Vietnamese is a tonal language. Rather than five tones, it has seven, plus the pronunciation is totally different. Fortunately, the scrip is Latin based, so it's possible to 'read' street signs, menus, hotel names, etc. More important is that the tourist industry here is very built up so English is widely spoken by touts and locals in tourist cities are well acquainted with the ghost face.

My first week here was a series of meetings with new and old friends. It was great to see familiar faces, and it's always different to experience the pace of other travelers. I had friends from LA who only had a limited time in the country, so after landing in Saigon, I found the first bus possible to meet them in the mountain town of Dalat. It was pleasant enough, and a good introduction to a new country. Nothing too crazy, just nice scenery and it's share of coffee shops. It was my first experience of Vietnamese markets, which believe it or not was very similar to other markets except with Vietnamese people and slightly different food. I sampled a variety of local fruits, made eyes with cute vendors....typical backpacker stuff. The coffee here is widely touted as being excellent, at least that's what the shopkeepers kept saying. I think this is hard to determine since it is often served with more milk/water than actual coffee, meaning the taste is usually diluted. It's watered down to a greater extent if you happen to be of the fairer sex. In many shops the ratio of coffee to milk will be adjusted based upon the gender of the customer. Us men, apparently like a stronger coffee flavor, while ladies just can't handle it.

From Dalat it was a sticky, bumpy bus ride over to the beach in Mui Ne. I imagine Mui Ne to be a pretty typical Vietnamese tourist beach town. Beaches, resorts, restaurants, and lots of tourists. For whatever reason this town was mostly traveled by Russians, no idea why. The beach was nice, nothing to get overly excited about, but it was good to chill for a couple of days with some friends. We spent a day going to some local sand dunes and walking along the 'Fairy Stream,' which I think is a bit of a joke. The only reason I can think why people go on this walk is because it's something different to do after spending days lounging. It's a tiny stream, that's populated by an equal amount of cows and hustling kids, both annoying. The cows because they pollute the stream with their waste. The kids because they're constantly harassing you to serve as your guide- naturally in the hope of earning a dollar. On our way back from this little thirty minute walk, multiple kids came up to us asking for money. I explained to them that I also wanted money, but they looked perplexed. My friend took pity on them and offered some anti-bacterial soap, which had them jumping up and down with joy, strange.

Biker Crazy
From the beach it was back to Saigon for a couple of days, where I met a friend visiting from China. My Angeleno friends went back home and I tagged along with my Chinese buddy and her friends. She and her friends are actually American of Caucasian descent but since I met them in China (Shanghai), they're my China friends. We spent a day going to a Cao Dai temple and to the Cu Ci Tunnels. I generally dislike tours. It seems the tour operates have a knack for finding the worst restaurants in the whole country, and chartering particularly bad drivers. It was no different in this case but still worth going to. I can't say that I heard of the Cao Dai religion before coming out here. It seems to be a strange agglomeration of multiple religions, but mostly rooted in Buddhism. Watching them pray was interesting, if not strangely voyeuristic and their temple was right out of a fairy tale. With very bright colors, a painted blue sky on the ceiling, and kitsch galore, I really wonder about their artistic influences. Perhaps it's inspired by a dream, or maybe designed by a third grader. In either case, it's not the typical temple. The tunnels were fascinating for their ingenuity and simple perseverance. i couldn't imagine living and fighting in those conditions (I probably couldn't fit in most of the tunnels also) or being a GI trying to find them out (must have been nearly impossible). How could we have expected to win a war where thousands of people where willing to live for years underground and wage war from there. If that's not dedication, what is? In the evening we went to a funny bar/club called Apocalypse Now. It was weird mix of travelers, western locals, prostitutes, and Anglophiles. Watching the tourist/local interaction was hilarious and stomach turning at the same time. Surely true love was found that night, amidst the pumping beats, dim lights and general humidity.

I spent a couple of days on my own checking out the other sites, like Reconciliation Palace and the War Crimes Museum. The War Crimes museum isn't the easiest place to visit. It's always difficult to see acts of such extreme violence, even harder when they were propagated by your country. It's funny that being here I haven't been too challenged with issues of the War. It's understandable since it's two generations ago. But by simple word association, when I (and this is probably true with most Americans) think of Vietnam, it conjures up images of the war, but I haven't had much discussions about it. Now that I've been here I want to revisit some of my favorite Vietnam War movies (Full Metal Jacket, Apocalypse Now) and McNamara's great commentary in the Fog of War.

Saigon is a pretty active city and the most fun I had was simply walking around and stopping into random bakeries. I think my most exciting times were anytime I wanted to cross the street. I swear this is an adventure sport here, as motorbikes whiz by from every direction. When I finally learn how to drive a bike, I'm going to come back and test my ability, since Saigon is the major leagues of careless biking. But that will just have to wait.

I've met a fair number of travelers who did not have a good experience here. Largely that's because they perceived the locals were just trying to make a buck off them. I totally understand where this feeling comes from. When I explained to a local tour operator that a $60 bike day trip was just too much, she oscillated between being very upset for me that I wasn't going to experience this wonderful tour and upset for her that she wasn't going to make money off me. It's a little bit unsettling when you think that ever person is talking to you in the effort to make a dollar, but I think this is to be expected in a poor country, especially one with so many travelers. I've found that it's not so hard to get beyond this feeling, by avoiding tourist thrift markets, and getting out of the main tourist areas I find the reaction of the locals to be totally different.

So I'm going South again, spending the last couple of weeks in the Mekong Delta.

Pictures

I finally posted some pictures. Lots of pictures actually, check them out on my picasa site. http://picasaweb.google.com/avinagel

Golden Triangle

Golden Triangle
It was much the same on Christmas day. Although by this time, Charles and I were better equipped having brought face masks and adorned hoods. For sure, there are kids in Dali having nightmares of me jumping up and down spraying them with shaving cream. The plan was to go to warmer weather, so we night bussed down to Jinghong. After a very bumpy ride, we arrived at our tropical destination half exhausted.

Fortunately, for us we were in the most laid back city in the most laid back province. Located at the Northern end of the notorious Golden Triangle, the pace of Jinghong was barely a crawl. And we loved it. Over the next four days we chilled at a local cafes, ate great Pad Thai (offered up by some adorable Thai girls) got a pair of blind massages(they let their fingers do the walking), and downed our fair share of fruit shakes and beers. This was my first taste of the lotus fruit known as SE Asia, and I liked it.

We had a particularly fun night at a bar/club where we were again treated like 'B' list celebrities. People bought us drinks, girls blew us kisses, we dj'd some songs, the owner offered us partial ownership, etc. normal royal treatment. The men, I should say boys at this club were a bit odd. Halfway through the night a contingent of them had taken off their shirts and dancing topless. It was hot, but not that hot. And at multiple points there would highly encourage us to dance with some of the girls. At points, they even forcibly grabbed our hands and tried to get us to touch the ladies. Pretty uncomfortable. I'll sexually harass women when I'm good and ready, thank you very much.

We went back up to Kunming for New Year's, which was a bit anti climatic, and I spent my last day in China wandering around eating street food and watching Avatar (very cool). Charles went to Shanghai, I was set to leave for Vietnam.

Personal China Highlights
With over three months in the country, I got to experience more than most. I saw enough cities and places to have some favorites. Beijing and Hong Kong really stood out for me. Beijing mainly because of it's many interesting expats, and dynamic vibe. There are a lot of changes taking place in China and those decisions are being made in the Capital. HK is a colonialists dream; comforts of the West, prices of the East. It's an interesting mix of two very different worlds. You can spend the day shopping in the craziness that is Mong Kok and go to the track at night. Plus the city is near some great hiking and beaches.

Xiahe, Dunhuang and Yangshou all stand out for their geographic beauty. On the Tibean plateau, Xiahe has the look and people of a different world. I met some interesting people (Chinese, Tibetans, Travelers) there and had a couple really great experience, including playing basketball with monks, being invited for tea at a locals home. All around good stuff.

Dunhuang is on the border of the Gobi and formerly past the point of known civilization (at least according to the Chinese). This was as far West as I made it in China and while it felt a bit out there, it had a lot more charm than other cities of it's size. The desert was screen saver perfect. A one-night camel trek and the following days were enough time for me to get my fill of crawling up the dunes (some of the highest in the world) and sprinting back down. Making it out there (and all the stops along the way) was a nice little accomplishment for me. Since getting around along the Silk Road was a test to my non-existent Chinese.

The only thing that Yangshou challenged was my ability to leave. The scenery there was bucolic, filled with Karst mountains. Rivers, mountains, discos, what more could you want? Wandering the countryside by day, floating down the rivers, biking on small roads, drinking cheap cheap beer (or oreo shakes) by night, it was such a great place to visit. So great in fact that the city is filled with it's share of backpacker burnouts (not for me) and it was important that I got out of there before I spent my last thirty day entry in that one little town.

There's so much more to say about China and my impressions there. Without a doubt the best thing about the country is the populace, which I have to admit came as a surprise to me. The warm reception that I received almost everywhere was really what kept me in the country longer. I do have more profound things to say about my experience. But that will just have to wait (maybe next time...we'll see) especially since I now find myself in a different country- Vietnam! Where the clock is ticking.

Shaving Cream Fight

When I last wrote some two months ago, I was just getting my feet wet in China. My language skills have greatly improved in the meantime. Before, I wrote that I figured out how to order chicken- flapping my arms and constantly repeating the word ji (chicken). Since then, I've learned that jiji is a slang word for prostitute. So while I thought I was being clever in getting myself understood, I was likely just ordering a flying prostitute. Many such funny occurrences continue to take place here. Old men tell me that I'm beautiful because I have a beard, while children are just as likely to cower in fear at my appearance. China's great.

In Beijing, I got a phone. While I was reluctant to reenter the 20th century, I'm glad that I did. It's made meeting people and staying in touch much easier. I'm no longer strictly confined to the social scene provided by the hostels. After a couple moths here, I've met many people and made lots of friends- some of them even keepers.

I'm coming up on almost 100 days in this country. It sounds like a long time, but there's so much that I haven't seen and would love to explore. China being such a big country, it has pretty much everything a traveller could want. Fantastic scenery, ranging from rice terraces here in the South, the desert up North, the Tibetan plateau to the West and mountains all in between, interesting dynamic cities like Beijing and Hong Kong (I guess it's China), long proud history, colorful people, and of course many great foods.What's best is that it's all out in the open to see and experience, from hair cuts on the street, to morning tai-chi in the park. SE Asia is calling me, and I expect to continue my great time there. Although I wouldn't be surprised to return here when my travels are over.

Chinese Enthusiasm
It doesn't take a genius to notice the rapid changes taking place in China. This is clearly a very exciting time for the country and fascinating to watch. Some of the development is pulling the populace out of poverty and pushing the country into the 21st century, a remarkable accomplishment.

The next World Expo is taking place this Spring in Shanghai. I have no doubtt that it will be the biggest and most impressive of all time. They've estimated 70 million attendees, and as a planner for the Belgian exhibit said, if the people aren't showing up, the country will bus them in. If China says there will be 70million, then that's what there will be. The physical changes taking place in Shanghai are extraordinary, the number of subway lines doubled in five years and will double again in the next ten. Thr skyline which already boasts some of the largest buildings has plans for many more.

The ever present enthusiasm here scares me. Not because of the blustering nationalism, but because it stinks of hubris. The recent collapse of Dubai and our own problems are a reminder of what happens when the economic engine slows. Talk here of constant 10% growth and new forms of government/capitalism seem extremely naive.

Shaving Cream Fight!
During my last two weeks in China, I've been joined by my good friend Charles. As if that weren't present enough, he came bringing gift- my very own kindle. I've often lamented the difficulty of finding good books on the road. Hostels have a very limited book selection usually consisting of Dan Brown, Danielle Steele and War and Peace (not interested, no way, and already read it). Now I'm free from the random book exchanges. It's a great toy and it already holds a place in my heart.

Charles and I are doing a quick Yunan loop.We started in Kunming, went up to Lijiang to hike the Tiger Leaping Gorge and our now in Dali for Christmas. Like many Jews, I often spend Christmas eve in a Chinese restaurant, which is exactly what I did last night. From there, I entered uncharted traditional territory. Usually the food is followed by a movie, but that's not what happened last night. The street had a militant, festive atmosphere. Since it doesn't snow in Dali (still chilly though), the Chinese people create their own with shaving cream. In a giving spirit, it is appropriate to share some of this snow with your neighbor. Basically the streets turn into a giant shaving cream fight. Charles and I were unawares of this, fortunately you can purchase bottles at the side of the road. Between the two of us we must have unloaded more than 20 cans. While that may seem sufficient to ward off would be attackers, it was not. Upon seeing us, young and old would shout Laowei (foreigner) and a hoard would converge on us. We were often short of breath from chasing and being chased and more than once we found ourselves doubled over in laughter, doused in cream. Having battles with the little kids was the most fun, since they would giggle hysterically and never a threat for serious damage. Spraying teenage boys was often a disastrous decisions, as others would quickly come together to attack as one unit. It was all good fun, but by the time we tasted so much shaving cream our tongues became numb, we knew it was time to call it a night. Hopefully your holidays are filled with such joy and laughter.

Next Plans
Charles and I are headed to Xueshanbanna, the southern most (and warm) region of China. It's known for it's tropical scenery and laid back atmosphere. Being close to the Thai and Burmese border it's also home to a fair amount of illicit activity. We met a local the other day who stressed how cheap the prostitutes are ("cheaper than having a girlfriend"), but I think we'll leave the seedy the activities to other travelers. Next week I'll be flying to Vietnam, where in the South I'll be meeting some friends. From there I'll meet my parents in Thailand, and we'll go over to Cambodia together. So that's my plan for the next couple of months. After that I'll hopefully see some other country in SE before heading over to India, where I expect to find both spiritual enlightenment and stomach problems. Ah traveling.

Happy holidays and best wishes for a exciting, joy-filled 2010. I would love to hear from you and don't hesitate to fly out here and join me for some adventures.