OREO SHAKE PLEASE

Oreo Shake Please

Yangshuo was the first true backpacker town that I stayed at. I rolled in around four thirty in the morning and was whisked away to an IHA hostel, that was really more like a hotel. The price seemed reasonable and I had no qualms stealing a few hours of sleep before I started my day. When the sun came up I learned that contrary to my hawkers proclamation, I was not in the center of town and in an effort to save money on electricity the heater in my room was turned off. When I complained to the owner, he said I should find a girl to keep me warm. Black girls are the best, and he could help me meet a Chinese girl. I was tempted, but I thought he would likely set me up with a prostitute. I passed and moved locations the next day. The next place was staffed by underground Christians, they were nice.

Aside from the cheap rooms, ample eating options, and many loud bars, Yangshuo has a lot to offer. Let me rephrase. Even in if you don't want to indulge in the backpacker lifestyle, it's still worth visiting. Mainly because the scenery is amazing. Giant Karst mounds pop right out of the valley and the city is located by two very picturesque rivers. The area is so pretty, it's been enshrined on the back of the 20 kuai bill. I did my best to sample the scenery.

I spent a day floating down the river, another biking by the mountains and a third wandering through neighboring villages. Each had their own special highlights/memories. On the river cruise I won't forget stopping at a little island where villagers had pairs of very sick looking birds. I'm still not sure why someone would pay to have their picture taken with them. While biking, I had to cross the river several times via bamboo rafts. On one occasion, I slipped and stepped right into the river, whoops. Later that day while trying to stop before a rock, I fell over in what must have been the slowest crash in mountain bike history. Laughter was had on both occasions. After wandering for a couple hours, I decided to stop for a nap by a river. I was accidentally awoken by three local twenty somethings. Apparently, I had stumbled upon their spot. Naturally, I was obligated to share a small feast with them including more than a few beers.

Being in a backpacker town, I got access to some backpacker amenities, like fun courses or ways to test your adventureness. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to go rock climbing-too wet, but I did take a coking course. Five dishes and half a day later, here's what I've learned. Use lots of oil, put oyster sauce in everything and water is your friend. The food was yummy. In fact, the local dish we made was better than when I ordered it several days prior.

A Walk in the Clouds

Staying in backpacker central was fun, but after several days in the touristy part of town, I was ready to get back on the road. How many interesting discussions can you have with travelers who are completely lost and staying here because it's cheap? The solution was to go north and west traveling through minority areas in the less visited spots of NW Guangxi and Guizhou.

A quick word about minorities in China. Ethnically, China is pretty homogeneous, boasting a Han population of around 90%. Of the remaining ten, I think the Uigher, Hui and Tibetans make up the balance and those folk are mostly out west. Here in the South, there are some twenty to thirty minorities. I've visited towns of the Dong and Yao, two of the larger groups consisting of three to four million people. In recent years, China has showcased their minorities to a greater extent. There's currently a touristification of many of these groups. Chinese will pay good money to see bizarre cultural shows ( think traditional dances with a disco bent) and many minority towns are living museums where after paying an admission fee you get to look at the locals. Which is pretty much what I've been doing, although hopefully less obtrusively. Plus the scenery is gorgeous and it allows me the opportunity to get my fill of ass massaging bus rides.

The first stop was Pingan and the Dragon Backbone Rice Terraces. I'm not sure how much you know about rice, but apparently, this is not the time of year to see 'jaw-dropping' (LP's words, not mine) views. What exactly does 'jaw dropping' mean anyway? Talk about hyperbole. Could you imagine going somewhere so intense it actually caused you seizures? I wouldn't want that. I saw Raider of the Lost Ark. I know my limits. I'll stick with amazing, beautiful, lovely, pleasant, austere, moving, special, etc. Anyplace 'jaw-dropping' I want nothing to do with. Where was I?

I like terraces, I think they're fun to look at. Small villages can be cool too, especially when they're filled with women who never cut their hair. Apparently the Yao believe beauty has much to do with the length of a woman's hair. So from teenage years onwards they don't cut it. Incidentally the men have no such prohibitions and just look like poor villages. Surely there are some special hair washing festivals when the women let their hair down (normally it's wrapped and covered), but as a balding man, I can't say this does much to pique my interest.

Right off the bus I was harassed (followed) by a woman offering me room accommodations. After strolling and bargaining, we finally reached a price for a room plus dinner. I thought I made a good deal. Little did I know that her place was at the top of the village, normally a positive, but with daytime visibility at 100 feet, not so important. I probably needed the exercise walking up... Her room was freezing and she stiffed me on dinner. By the time this fact became apparent it was pitch black outside and with visibility down to ten feet, I was convinced I would never find my room again. I buckled down and supped on Chinese Twinkies and sunflower seed.

Sleep came easily and after a hearty breakfast, I embarked on a half day hike that more than compensated for the poor hospitality. In the five hour hike between two villages, I was walking above and through rice terraces. Unfortunately, visibility was pretty poor and the terraces were just dry remains of the previous harvest. Not exactly the glistening rice fields in the pictures. I'm not complaining, i do still have my jaw.

Dong Da Dong Dong

From there it was onwards to several Dong villages, first Chenyang and then Zhaoxing. Getting around the villages was pretty tough because of the very poor condition of the roads. The one bright side is that many were in the process of (re)construction. So at some point getting around out here will be easier. For now, it can be a back-breaking, butt-bouncing affair. I do not have fond memories of the road between Conjiang and Kaili. Supposedly separated by 120 km, the ride took almost eight hours. Visibility in these parts has been pretty poor. So while there are many pretty mountains and terraces, most cannot be viewed. Boo. On country roads, there are usually country travelers. This is fine except some get motion sickness and end up spending the majority of the bus ride, pucking. Lovely.

The Lonely Planet mentions that several of these places are overrun with tourists and lost their rustic charm. I didn't find this to be the case at all and I haven't seen a white face for over a week. I'm sure it's partially because of the time of the year. I don't mind travelers that much. Without them(us) it's harder to find places to stay, where to eat, find companionship, etc. In China, this is not to be belittled, especially since hotels here need a special permit to house foreigners. In less visited areas it's often very tough to find budget accommodations. The other day I wandered around needlessly for two hours before I found a suitable (not crazy expensive) place. I've spent the past week with a Korean fellow, and I've been very happy to have the company, plus he can read a little Chinese.

Dong villages have two primary characteristics. They're dirty, filled with muck and mud and they are under constant construction. They also tend to have lots of drum towers and naturally are filled with Dong people. The amazing thing about Dong construction is that they don't use any nails or bolts. All the pieces fit together like giant log legos. Part of me is amazed by the quality as they build three and four story buildings this way. The other part of me, wants to encourage them to get into the twenty first century. Their architects and woodsman must be real craftsmen. But spending hours planning wood, or figuring out exactly how many divots to fit into a particular log seems like a very inefficient use of time. I can only imagine what would happen if a woodworker found himself in a Home Depot. He would faint for sure, with sudden death being a remote possibility.

The past couple of days have been spent walking and biking in these random villages. Basically, we wander around hiking in the surrounding mountainsides, bike where we can ogle at villagers and sit down inside the drum towers. Drum towers seem to be where the older men of the village congregate so it's generally fun to hang out with the old timers for a bit. Usually they just sit around a fire, burning anything to keep warm. When I say anything I mean it. Wood, trash, clothing, animals (ok I didn't see that), even random mechanical equipment. The guys are quite a sight. The Dong people are small and the old men are always smoking. Often then don't bother to deal with matches or lighters and simply stick their pipes or most often their whole hands in the fire. I've seen enough charred hands and fingers for the time being. In one little mountain village we were pleasantly sitting, minding our own business, when a popping noise starts coming from the fire. Next thing we know a large metal projectile flies out of the fire. It was at that point that we decided to leave. It was great strolling around the country side. The weather didn't exactly cooperate since it's been cloudy, misty and rainy most of the past week. I saw the largest waterfall in Asia. I'm not sure I believe it's the biggest fall since while it's nice, it wasn't overpoweringly large. Yesterday we tried to visit one of the largest caves in China. Five hours into our three hour bus ride we realized we didn't have time to actually go to the cave. Instead we stopped at a Chinese version of a KFC, Home Cooked Chicken and turned right around. The food was surprisingly good. I'm not that upset about missing the cave, I would have been pissed if I missed my train that night, which I didn't.

I'm currently in Kunming, the capital of Yunan and home to many exciting outdoor adventures. Hopefully winter won't blow me away and I'll spend the next couple weeks enjoying the interesting scenery. Plus I'll be joined by my good friend Charles who is visiting from the states for a couple of weeks. Should be great!